Alt. Ep. Title: “Drinking Formaldehyde Laced Milk in Baltimore Baby!”

Prime 11 has finally dropped and let me tell you, it is one uncoordinated puppy! Ample apologies for the extreme delays, the obstruction of progress, our frivolous dilly-dallying, our impeded output, the lengthy downtime, and the general retardation of our informaly casual get-togethers. We hope we can still provide you with a super juicy fun time despite all this.

Discussions revolving around a broad range of topics such as: Shutter Island, Pandorum, Surrogates, Black Dynamite, The Pagemaster, Law Abiding Citizen, Kurt Wimmer, Mean Machine, formaldehyde in milk, Battlestar Galactica, Top Gear, abandoned tanks, V for Vendetta, Trapped in the Closet, mass graves, Aliens vs Predator, The Wire, Book of Eli, The Crazies, bad voice-acting in videogames and much more wack-tastic kung-fu treachery!

Probably enough of a volatile load to upgrade the status of this shindig from Hoedown to Hootenanny. Either way, you can bet your ass that this episode is a hell of a lot more funky than a barrel full of expired grape flavored butt plugs and you can take THAT to the bank!

PARTICIPANTS:

• -CHRIS
• -MARLON
• -VICTOR
• -PATRICK
• -SPANISH
  

Episode Length: 50:00

Links of Interest:
Clean Your Balls With Axe!
Top 50 Worst Videogame Voice Acting
Disclose TV (Truth Revealed)
V For Vocabulary 1
 
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Alternate Episode Title: “2009′s Top Erection-Inducing Picks!”

2009′s finest movies and games racing towards your ears at the top speed that insanical sideways verbage can achieve! So many entertaining diversions from last year to dissect and so little time to do it in. We have a decent sized crew this go around. This Hard Cast Prime is devoted to our top picks of last year and like every professional procrastinator will tell you. Better late than never!

Movies Discussed: Star Trek, District 9, The Hangover, Sherlock Holmes, The Watchmen, The Goods, The Invention of Lying, Avatar, Zombieland, Inglorious Bastards and more honorable mentions!

Games Discussed: Call of Duty: MW2, Batman: Arkham Asylum, New Super Mario Bros., Borderlands, Shadow Complex, Uncharted 2, Assassin’s Creed II, House of the Dead: Overkill, Madworld and more honorable mentions!

A bit of a wrap up of 2009 and something a little different for our listeners. Stay tuned for more irregularly unscheduled episodes of Hard Cast Prime with our standard long-winded misguided exploits and plenty of new cohorts/members. Here’s to an awesome and very exciting 2010!

PARTICIPANTS:

• -CHRIS
  
• -VICTOR
  
• -SPANISH
• -MARLON
  

Episode Length: 38:15

Top 5 Most Downloaded Episodes of 2009

1. Hard Cast Prime Episode 4

2. Hard Cast Prime Episode 0

3. Raiden IV Review

4. Hard Cast Prime Episode 3

5. New Police Story Review

 
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Alternate Episode Title: “Yanked So Hard The Reverse Came In!”

The ninth Hard Cast Prime is upon thee! Prepare for extreme violation! Chaotic verb-age reigns and only the strong will survive this auditory onslaught! Our long lost brother has returned to us, once thought to be trapped within the eye of the storm otherwise known as the educational system. We are jubilantly happy to accept Luis back into the fold, at least that’s what he thinks anyway.

Discussions revolving around a broad range of topics such as: Ninja Assassin, Avatar, Michelle Rodriguez, Brittany Murphy, Borderlands DLC, Wallace & Gromit, Angels & Demons, Final Fantasy VIII, Battle for Terra, Death Metal Concerts, some Anime, old school game collecting and much more! More than enough material to bop your baloney, pluck your peacock, smack your sasquatch, smear your smurf, cloister your clam (for our female listeners), lasso your lemon, ravish your radish, dig your ditch, cram your carrot, yodel your yeti, or pump your potato. Here at The Hard Cast, we aims to please!

PARTICIPANTS:

• -CHRIS
• -STEVEN
• -VICTOR
• -LUIS
• -SPANISH
  

Episode Length: 66:16

Links of Interest:
My New Haircut
My New Haircut (Asian Edition)

 
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Alternate Episode Title: “Destination: Insanical Sideways Verbage!”

The eighth Hard Cast Prime gathering is finally here! Reasons for the delays range from scheduling issues, members passing out at random moments, and of course the ever-addictive Modern Warfare 2. We almost delayed the show again but we figured out a workaround. It took a gargantuan amount of effort but we love bending over backwards for you guys.

Not even the spell of eternal limpage could keep us down. We braved the wrath of the yodeling ninjas and the mayonnaise ejaculating jabberwocks. All in the hopes to savor the flavor of the newly ripened booty melons but Gertrude the Berserker knocked us to our knees and commenced her never-ending orgasmic howling. In the end nothing could hold back our unrestrained mana from thrusting forward. Reaching our destination we managed to engage critical climax in order to awaken the massive loads from our scented spunk-sacs! Thus began the long-range whippery. Achievement UNLOCKED!

What can I say? We can’t keep our hands out the “cookie jar”. Of course some of us (Steven) seem to be more interested in the “twinkie box”. We once again give the listeners the privilege and honor of being taken advantage of. Expect nothing less from The Hard Cast!

PARTICIPANTS:

• -CHRIS
• -STEVEN
• -VICTOR
• -PATRICK
• -EdDiE (?)
• -SpAnIsH (?)
  

Episode Length: 47:31

Links of Interest:
The Onion: Modern Warfare 3

 
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Alternate Episode Title: “Delicious-Able Juicy Balls!”

An at home wife named Sara is alone and the doorbell rings. She opens it to a guy named Greg, “Hi, is Tony home?” The wife replies, “No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want.” So they sit down and after a while of silence Greg says “You know Sara, I bet you have some really awesome breasts. I’d be willing to give you a hundred bucks just to see them.”

Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell – a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows them to him for a few seconds. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and Greg then says “That was so amazing I’ve got to see your bottom half too. I’ll give you another 100 dollars.” Sara amazed by the offer sits and thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So she opens her robe and gives Greg a nice long chance to cop a look.

A while later Tony arrives back home from the store. The wife goes up to him, “You know, your friend Greg came over.” Tony thinks about it for a second and says, “Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?”

We’re back with another mind-bendingly outrageous episode of Hard Cast Prime. Do you have the testicular fortitude to accept this massive load? Let’s find out!

PARTICIPANTS:

• -CHRIS
• -STEVEN
• -VICTOR
• -PATRICK
• -EDDIE
  

Links of Interest:
Jones’ Good Ass BBQ & Foot Massage
Jones’ Big Ass Truck Rental & Storage
Borderlands is for Real Gamers (IGN)

 
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If you can’t handle

all our crap .

I suggest the following product!

Alternate Episode Title: “Holy Hollow Exploding Moons Batman!”

Back for more punishment I see! Well I can’t say I blame you, we are kind of addictive. After all we are the stuff behind the smudge, the hutzpuh in the camel’s milk, the thing that’s looking back at you when you’re looking at your shoe, the hoodoo in the voodoo, and we’re the gibberish that’s spewing from every homeless-sexual ghost’s foul lips. We’re all these things and still you come back for more. Well loyal listener we have a treat for you because we have confessed our sins for all the world to know unfortunately I forgot to hit the record button. So instead we give you yet another episode of Prime. (hint: this is the part where you clap and cheer!)

On a side note: It has been brought to my attention that you will definitely get more out of this episode if you listen to the Dune podcast first but hey if you enjoy stumbling through life blind and confused the way I do than by all means skip that one. I have done my due diligence and you have been warned.

Another well-worn and tight episode, ready for insertion….into your ears. Enjoy if you dare!

PARTICIPANTS:

• -CHRIS
• -STEVEN
• -VICTOR
• -PATRICK

Links of Interest:
SLUTS vs STUDS
Halo: ODST – Are you an ODST (Fanboy)?
Threw It On The Ground
 
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Alternate Episode Title: “Did you see his massive Odin Spheres?”

So, yeah…. I guess we’re back! Through some miracle we somehow managed to escape from the vortex of infinite inferiority and we’ve returned in all our majestic glory with much fanfare (although I was kind of hoping for a parade). If you’re actually back for more than you are most certainly a masochist of the highest order and we salute you.

This is one jam packed episode with lots of content and plenty of verbal discourse. I won’t comment on the quality of this content but it’s definitely there. Some youtube talk, some TV show talk (Arrested Development), some ODST talk, and some drooling-heavy breathing-lustful talk of FF13 filled with extreme longing and perverse desire. Basically an average run of the mill conversation with Steven.

PARTICIPANTS:

• -CHRIS
• -STEVEN
• -VICTOR
• -PATRICK

 
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Victor’s attempts to write the show outline were met with much challenge. Apparently he had forgotten that the difficulty was set at Legendary and no one on his friends list was available for Co-Op.

Alternate Episode Title: “I Love You Water!”

By our incredibly pathetic powers combined we are The Hard Cast! Once again triumphing over the evils of inconvenient scheduling issues and nagging family members to bring you yet another savagely mediocre episode.

Eddie and Luis were unable to untangle themselves from the bondage known as reality and regrettably, the rest of the crew and I had to sally forth into the relentless unknown without them. We now present to you the fruits of our labor which unfortunately turned rancid during our homeward journey but we return wreathed in the flames of triumphant glee to extol our bountiful adventures and tribulations.

So basically another standard episode of Hard Cast Prime. Hope you enjoy….

PARTICIPANTS:

• -CHRIS
• -STEVEN
• -VICTOR
• -PATRICK

 
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Alternate Episode Title: “Prime 3: Corruption (of Body and Soul)”

We had a full house for this show! Victor’s back from the Big Apple with some funny stories, Luis is hiding drugs in his anus, Hitler gets banned from Xbox Live, Stalin vs. Martians, Patrick sees Steven at a Gay strip club, Victor is being stalked by Tran-sexual Nazi Eskimos (sorry, I mean Inuits), Chris learns to suck (lollipops), and Steven has a bone to pick with Nintendo!

Some other podcasts that are worth checking out are mentioned and there’s some praise for CheapAssGamer. A great site to get awesome deals on games, DVDs, and Blu-Rays.

P.S. Thanks for the email Paul!

PARTICIPANTS:

• -CHRIS
• -STEVEN
• -VICTOR
• -PATRICK
• -LUIS
• -EDDIE
  

Links:

Greatest Movie Ever
Fast Karate for the Gentleman
Destroy All Podcasts DX
CheapAssGamer

 
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Alternate Episode Title: “Prime 2: Echoes (of Sanity)”

Yes! Yet another massively crazy random discussion of epic proportions! Is Obama the anti-christ? Are the north and south poles about to pull the old switcheroo? Are the Jews out to get us? Who is the true guzzler of sprouts? Exactly how contagious is the dick slap? Is New York ready for Victor? Can anyone actually understand Batman?

All these questions and much more are discussed on this weeks Hard Cast Prime. Now ask yourself this, can you in good conscience walk away from this podcast without satisfying your curiousity?

That’s right! I didn’t think so!

PARTICIPANTS:

• -CHRIS
• -STEVEN
• -VICTOR
• -PATRICK
  

 
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Alternate Episode Title: “Return of the Deviants!”

A continuation of Episode 0, basically all the stuff we had to leave out from the previous episode due to time constraints. This time some of us were running on fumes and there was no Eddie to round out the gang. Lots of youtube banter and discussions about what we’ve been working on lately as well as what’s to come. Hopefully we’ll be able to get both Eddie and Luis on board for Episode 2 so we can keep the energy up and jokes flowing. Don’t be afraid to let us know what you think. If we get enough feedback we’ll read some of them on the next Prime.

PARTICIPANTS:

• -CHRIS
• -STEVEN
• -VICTOR

 
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Alternate Episode Title: “Deviants Unite!”

If there is one of our podcasts that you need to check out first than it is most definitely this one! Get to know the insanely mad-crazy-cool crew and find out what makes us tick. An introduction to The Hard Cast if you will. Our chemistry/humor is so infectious it has to be heard to be believed and this is only a taste of what’s to come! Trust us, you can’t afford to miss this episode.

Look forward to future Hard Cast Primes every week.

 
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